Happy Holidays and Happy New Year

from the Ruby Rogues

(and Mandy)!!

Book Club

Ruby Under a Microscope by Pat Shaughnessy! We will be interviewing Pat on February 27, 2014. The episode will air on March 6th, 2014. No Starch was kind enough to provide this coupon code your listeners can use to get a discount for Ruby Under a Microscope. Use the coupon code ROGUE for 40% off! (Coupon expires April 1, 2014.)

In Two Weeks

Riak with Sean Cribbs and Bryce Kerley

Transcript

DAVID: [whispers] Get out.[Hosting and bandwidth provided by the Blue Box Group. Check them out at BlueBox.net.] ****[This podcast is sponsored by New Relic. To track and optimize your application performance, go to RubyRogues.com/NewRelic.][This episode is sponsored by Code Climate. Code Climate automated code reviews ensure that your projects stay on track. Fix and find quality and security issues in your Ruby code sooner. Try it free at RubyRogues.com/CodeClimate.]__[This episode is sponsored by SendGrid, the leader in transactional email and email deliverability. SendGrid helps eliminate the cost and complexity of owning and maintaining your own email infrastructure by handling ISP monitoring, DKIM, SPF, feedback loops, whitelabeling, link customization and more. If you’d rather focus on your business than on scaling your email infrastructure, then visit www.SendGrid.com.] MANDY: Hey everybody and welcome to episode 138 of the Ruby Rogues podcast. Today, I am your host, Mandy Moore, otherwise known as Ruby Rep, otherwise known as the Rogues assistant. Today, I will be giving you a very special and hopefully hilarious glimpse into the Ruby Rogues Retreat in which I had the pleasure, or misfortune, of attending this past July after the LoneStar Ruby Conference. We rented a house in Austin, Texas, which was basically a mansion and holed up for four days so the Rogues could discuss their boring book stuff and I could eat all their food and record super-secret conversations in a very James Bond-esque manner. A great time was had by all and no one died, though David came close and we went our separate ways still friends. I made it on and off an airplane, which was a huge win for me, though Katrina tried to get me to stay on the streets of Austin for an extra month by booking my return flight for August 24^th instead of July. Alas, all worked out and I got to come home to my daughter whom I lovingly refer to as chicken, and my four cats, two dogs, three hopelessly lost men, and a very, very dirty kitchen. When I got home, I had over 24 hours’ worth of audio to go through, a lot of which were the sounds of James’s wife, Dana, cooking amazing meals in the kitchen, which was not so easy on my ears. But I managed to get around Dana’s kitchen drum solos to gather some good content. All in all, the Rogues were good to me and treated me like the princess that deep inside I know I am. JOSH: Oh my god, I love your hair! MANDY: [Chuckles] I did look pretty good that day. But while I was being treated like a princess, there was another one giving birth. MANDY: Oh, Kate’s giving birth. JOSH: Yeah, I heard. She went into labor. MANDY: No she, he’s arrived. JAMES: It’s here? JOSH: Is it human? JAMES: Is it human? [Chuckles] JOSH: You never know with the British Royals. MANDY: It’s a boy. It’s a boy. MANDY: And in typical Avdi fashion, he just didn’t get it. AVDI: Why is this royal baby the top news? JAMES: I don’t know. Because it’s the royal baby, Avdi. MANDY: Though everyone there was obviously not as concerned at pop culture and royal babies as I was, we still managed to have fun. And David continued to be David. DAVID: I just realized, I kind of want to troll exercism the way we donkey-punched the, or donkey-patched, excuse me… [Laughter] JOSH: Excuse me. [Laughter] DAVID: The way we donkey-patched the Ruby [inaudible]. [Laughter] CHUCK: She will have to exorcise your code, though. That’s the problem. [Laughter] CHUCK: Like holy water and… MANDY: I learned a lot from the Rogues. James is probably one of the smartest people I’ve ever met. But his mad scientist antics would be scary sometimes as he proclaimed things like… JAMES: Stand back. I’m going to try science! MANDY: And, JAMES: Okay, here we go, pushing the button. MANDY: On the first night, we sat around the dining room table and played RoboRally. James was not happy with the outcome. DAVID: Eeee, turning, turn, yes! I’m facing up the down escalator. JAMES: David, if you… [Laughter] JAMES: We need to have a little talk. Because I’m worried your next move is move two and then the one after that is a turning left. And if it is, you should just get up from the table. [Laughter] DAVID: Just go to bed like you could still survive the night? MANDY: The thing is, you should totally take a walk [inaudible]. [Laughter] JAMES: I remember Dave telling us on stage, I can handle you. [Laughter] DANA: Dave, rage quit! CHUCK: My phone died! I so want to tweet that. [Laughter] MANDY: He really took this game seriously. JAMES: Avdi, this is a good time to start having that conversation with yourself, “Do I wish to power down?” MANDY: In fact, the next night when it was suggested they play again, James issues David a little warning. JAMES: So, let’s talk about an activity tonight. What would we like to do on our last night? KATRINA: Play a game. MANDY: Me too. CHUCK: I was going to say, if you have another game? Sentinels of the Universe or something? JAMES: I have another game, Sentinels. KATRINA: I want to do that. CHUCK: Is it [super]? KATRINA: Or even the RoboRally. That was fun. JAMES: So, there is advantage to playing RoboRally again. You’ve got the hang of it now. DAVID: And what are the odds of me drawing three hands in a row of three rare cards? JAMES: If you beat me again, I will run over you. DAVID: Okay. [Laughter] DAVID: Or you know, let’s go to Twitter. KATRINA: Yeah, the advantage to RoboRally is we can role-play together. MANDY: A lot of strange things went down on this trip. JOSH: Hey James? JAMES: Yeah? JOSH: I think your computer is making strange space-age noises. JAMES: Whoa. If it lifts off, let me know. MANDY: And I don’t even know what was trying to be discussed here. CHUCK: You could totally do Morse code with llamas, you know. [Laughter] JOSH: Doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo. MANDY: One of the most mysterious Rogues is Katrina. Apparently she was a podcast superstar back in the day. KATRINA: So, do you guys remember, there was a podcast way back in the day, like 2004 or 2005, about Firefly, that was all about Firefly? DAVID: No, whoa. JAMES: Podcast? DAVID: Did it present the episodes out of order and then cancel halfway through the first? [Chuckles] KATRINA: But they did interviews with each of the actors. DAVID: Wow. KATRINA: It was a really… And it was in the lead-up to the movie being released [inaudible]. JAMES: Wow. DAVID: Yeah. KATRINA: I actually got really obsessed with it. And so, when they were doing the intro jingle… JAMES: Yeah. KATRINA: Parts of it were in Chinese. That was me. [Chuckles] JAMES: Oh, wow. DAVID: Oh, really? [Laughter] JAMES: That’s awesome. MANDY: You know how in Katrina’s bio, it says she ran away from the circus? I thought it was supposed to be a funny but fake statement. I was wrong, because Katrina did in fact leave the circus to become a programmer. DAVID: Yeah. CHUCK: I think… DAVID: But you tried contemporary French circus? JAMES: Yeah. KATRINA: For four years. CHUCK: You weren’t here last night when she was playing. It was fascinating. JAMES: So, I wasn’t here when you explained either. DAVID: Okay, in ten seconds or less, what did you do? Like did you [inaudible]? KATRINA: No, floor acrobatics. DAVID: Floor acrobats, really? JAMES: Yeah. CHUCK: It’s fascinating. Take more than ten seconds. I want to hear it again. [Laughs]. KATRINA: Okay. I’m trying to figure out how far to back up. [Laughter] DAVID: Kansas. JAMES: Kansas. KATRINA: Yeah. JAMES: So, there was this tornado. [Laughter] KATRINA: Alright. So, high school of performing arts, I tried to be talented at jazz. I was not. I figured because the only thing that kind of made sense to me in music that I was really good at was anything that I could calculate. So musical theory, in particular composing, fell naturally to me. And I figured, “Well, I’ll figure out how to do that.” But composing itself wasn’t really interesting to me. So I was like, “Maybe film would work.” So, I was going to try that. I put together my applications and I didn’t even send it off. In the meanwhile, I had done, I had put together one composition, one kind of weird, it was really not good, piece for bass and saxophone that I was going to perform at a local talent show. And the bass player dropped out last moment. So I was like, “Okay. Well, find something else.” And I found a couple of my friends and they were all into belly dancing. I was like, “You guys will teach me belly dancing and we’ll do that at the talent show.” And they dropped out. They went travelling. I was like, “Well, damn it. I want to do this talent show.” [Chuckles] So, I did just some physical theater stuff, just made something up. Did that and got sent to the regional finals, got sent to the national finals. Some guy from a talent agency contacted me. I did some work at night clubs, stupid stuff. Did a music video, appeared on some children’s television stuff. And I was like, “Well, maybe this is my talent.” DAVID: Wow. KATRINA: So, I applied for theater school in Paris. I didn’t speak French. I got accepted, had no idea why. But I wasn’t good at it at all. I hated it. I really hated pretty much everything about it. But I was there for a year. At the end of the year, I had seen a bunch of contemporary French circus that’s a lot like Cirque du Soleil. No clowns, no animals, just beautiful, creative, funny, whimsical… JAMES: The women hanging down in blankets moving around and that kind of stuff. KATRINA: Right. Yeah, it could be a mix of all sorts of really weird art, dance, hip hop, acrobatics, and it was really fascinating to me. I was like, “Okay. Well, I didn’t like the theater thing and I’m not very good at it.” But this acrobat thing kind of fascinates me. So, I applied for the five-year course of study to become a professional acrobat for modern circus. At that process, as you send in an application, says a little bit about what you’ve tried previously. They weed out, probably I guess, and choose the top 120, invite you to a full day of auditions which is strength, flexibility, endurance, acrobatics, dance, acting, handstands, and a couple of other things, trampoline. And I failed out on pretty much everything. So, I stayed at the theater school an extra year, which was a really bad choice, but I did. And I tried again next year. At that point, I did a lot better. I came in on the top 40 on dance and acting. But they disqualified me on acrobatics. I was still not good enough at acrobatics. So usually, the top 40 get invited to a two-week audition. And I didn’t get invited to the two-week audition but they remembered me. Like one of the people that I met at the audition emailed -- I wasn’t emailed, talked to me later and said that she had overheard them talking about how they were disappointed that I had failed out on acrobatics because they would have liked to have seen me there. DAVID: Wow. KATRINA: So I was like, “That’s kind of cool.” I worked really, really hard for a couple of years and got a lot better at acrobatics and I went back and tried again. So, this was four years into trying to become an acrobat. I made it to the end of the day of the one-day audition and broke my ankle on the trampoline. DAVID: Oh. KATRINA: So, I did make it to the top 40. I did get invited to the two weeks of audition. But I had my foot in a cast. I placed 22^nd out of 40, just kind of middle of the tree. There were 15 places. CHUCK: Did you audition with your foot in a cast, then? KATRINA: Yes. CHUCK: For two weeks? KATRINA: Yes. So, I did all of the acrobatics, all of everything with my foot in a cast. Obviously, I couldn’t do everything. DAVID: Right. KATRINA: But there was a lot things you -- I mean there’s a lot you can do even with your foot in a cast. But yeah. So, I didn’t make it in. And finally, I gave up. DAVID: Wow. Best failure story I have heard all year. CHUCK: [Laughs] KATRINA: In retrospect, I’m so glad I didn’t then get accepted and then spend five years trying to be an acrobat. DAVID: To make a job of it, yeah. KATRINA: Without really understanding practice, because I didn’t, at that time, know how to practice. I know thinking back, a lot of the mistakes that I made as I was training acrobatics, I was really reinforcing a lot of bad habits. Yeah, there were a lot. And I just don’t think I would appreciate the circus life at all. CHUCK: Yeah, you’d have been rooming with the bearded lady or something. JAMES: [Chuckles] MANDY: So, as I’ve said before, the main purpose of this trip was to discuss the book. The only thing David Brady was concerned about was that his name got on the book. DAVID: Oh! So, the one thing that I threw out and a bunch of us nodded our heads, and this is actually in… KATRINA: Threw out as in rejected or suggested? DAVID: I threw out as a suggestion, which was that what I wanted out of this was my name on the cover of the book in the same font size as everybody else’s name. JOSH: That may be hard to do. [Laughter] DAVID: Right, because there’s actually a line item that says we own all the presentation. My mom will not be impressed with a red book about some programming language written by Susser, et al. [Laughter] DAVID: I would call her and say, “Oh no, it’s cool mom. My stage name is Al.” [Laughter] DAVID: And he’s Et. JOSH: I believe everyone’s headshot will be on the back cover. DAVID: That’s cool, too. JAMES: Wow, nice. CHUCK: You say that, and I’ve played so many first-person shooter games where I was like, “Head shot.” [Laughter] JAMES: I only want my name listed in the book in [inaudible]. DAVID: You guys are all dorks. JAMES: Yeah. CHUCK: Does that mean we can play Quake? D** AVID: Quake. Weird. JAMES: Wait, you just realized this? DAVID: Wait, why am I hanging out with…Why are you hanging out with me? JOSH: What is the name of the repo, Katrina? JAMES: **That says more about you than us, P.S. [Chuckles]KATRINA: [Inaudible].**JOSH: Thank you. CHUCK: Yeah. MANDY: So, when it was all said and done, the Rogues agreed on some behind the scenes business. KATRINA: **Alright, I have a to-do. Determine royalty split as late as possible but before the first draft of the manuscript is delivered. [Inaudible] I will send it to the milestone manuscript, first draft. Current version is seven shares. Josh gets two. Avdi gets all the bourbon. David Brady will not be listed on the cover as ‘et al’. [Laughter]**JOSH: That sounds perfect. MANDY: And then they talked about a bunch of stuff that I just didn’t understand. DAVID: Terminology question. Are we using the word method? JAMES: Yes, if you’re referring to… JOSH: A method… JAMES: A method, but not if you’re referring to it calling the method. Does that make sense? DAVID: Um… JAMES: We’re saying sending your messages. CHUCK: You mean if you say method instead of message? JOSH: What do you mean when you say are we using method? DAVID: **Is there a [inaudible] between method and message?JOSH: Absolutely. AVDI: Can I try to draw it? DAVID: Please. AVDI: A message is something that you tell an object to do, A, but a method is one method of implementing that message. DAVID: Okay. So, are predicate methods actually predicate messages? KATRINA: No. DAVID: Do you write any methods? JOSH: [inaudible]DAVID: You know, if you’re writing it… CHUCK: [inaudible] send a message.**JAMES: You’re writing it as a predicate method. KATRINA: You’re sending it as a predicate message. JAMES: Yeah. DAVID: Okay. So, you write a method so that someone can send that message? KATRINA: Yes. JAMES: That’s one way to handle someone sending a message, right? KATRINA: Yeah. JAMES: For example, if you use method missing to handle all your absolute messages, right? DAVID: You have something. AVDI: There’s a similar distinction that I heard once. I don’t know if we’ll -- if it’s worth making. Parameters versus arguments. KATRINA: Oh, I go back and forth with that all the time. I have to look it up and I can never remember which is which. AVDI: What I learned from a code construction, Code Complete or something like that, was parameters are when you write a method, you define parameters for that method. Arguments are the concrete values that you pass in. KATRINA: Oh. JOSH: Agreed. DAVID: Ooh. JOSH: Formal Parameters, concrete arguments. KATRINA: So when you are inside… CHUCK: Are we capturing these in the glossary? JAMES: We’re capturing it on… But yeah, we need more… KATRINA: When you are inside your method definition, how do you refer to the local variable that is… JAMES: It’s a parameter. It’s a formal parameter. KATRINA: It’s a formal parameter in the method definition? JOSH: Wait, from which perspective? KATRINA: When I’m reading the body of the defining method… JAMES: She’s saying that she’s defining a method and it takes argument A and then in the body of that definition, she uses A, what do you call that? I would say parameter. KATRINA: But the parameter… JOSH: I would say an argument. JAMES: Really? JOSH: Yes. DAVID: Why? JOSH: Because the value is the argument. AVDI: Mm. Yeah, that’s actually a tough call. I’m not sure. And here’s an argument for calling it argument. JOSH: The argument argument. AVDI: The fact that we typically, at least I typically, like if I’m sliding together into an array, I will call that args. I will not call that params. JAMES: Yeah. DAVID: There was a lot of history of *arg and **kwargs. JAMES: There is *args in Ruby. CHUCK: Argc, argv. JAMES: Yeah. AVDI: But when you’re talking about the signature of the method… DAVID: Those are the parameters. AVDI: Then I would say parameter. DAVID: So an argument is an instance of a parameter? AVDI: Yeah. JOSH: Yes. Yeah, the parameter is the specification. The argument is the concrete value. JAMES: Okay. I guess that makes sense. JOSH: That’s just the way I’ve always heard it. I don’t know if there’s an authoritative place to look to define that. JAMES: Yeah. CHUCK: So, if you’re inside of the body of the method and you referenced the name of the parameter, you’re referencing an argument? JAMES: Right. Because then, you’re talking about a concrete case. Whereas a parameter is, it’s the difference between a class definition and an instance, right? The parameter is the definition, basically. That when you’re… DAVID: **Parameter is the class. [Laughter]**JAMES: Yeah. Right, when you’re using it. MANDY: And after they discussed all the hard questions about methods and messages, David, of course, had to figure out the hardest question of them all. DAVID: **I have spent a solid 30 minutes of my life in the past 24 hours figuring out how I’m going to get that WWSMD sticker on this laptop. [Laughter]JAMES: That’s awesome. DAVID: And the answer is probably the same way I got my Twilio. You notice how I stuck the stencil on but I peeled the circle back off. JAMES: Wow. DAVID: So, I just have the four dots. JOSH: Trim it. CHUCK: So, that’s what it looks like without, or with the ring on. JAMES: Yeah. DAVID: So yeah, the WWSMD would fit, but it actually would go onto the monkey’s face. And so, I’m actually thinking about cutting out the letters. JAMES: That’s awesome. DAVID: [makes scissor noises] What would David Brady do with What Would…**JAMES: Sandi Metz Do? DAVID: Yeah. MANDY: ‘What Would Sandi Metz Do?’ stickers were all the rage at the LoneStar Ruby Conference and we had a little Rouge along for the retreat who wore one for four days solid across her belly to show Rubyist love. Her name is Summer and she is James and Dana’s daughter. DANA: Do you want to tell him what you told me or can I tell him? SUMMER: You tell him. DANA: I was informed that she’s going to get older and she’s going to be a Rogue and she’s going to go on a retreat too. JAMES: I see. CHUCK: Okay. JAMES: Atta girl. JOSH: **Yay. [Laughter]**KATRINA: Yeah. JAMES: Atta girl. CHUCK: I can totally see it in 15 years. Welcome to Ruby Rogues episode 2,951. This is Summer Gray. JAMES: That’s very true. DANA: Wouldn’t that be cool? MANDY: And then David Brady made the most epic David Brady fail ever. DANA: Try to remember Summer’s sleeping, okay? JAMES: We’ll do that. DAVID: **I was not aware of that fact. [Inaudible]**JAMES: We could probably close that door. DAVID: **I can close that door right now. There’s no [inaudible] about it. [Slams door][laughter]**JOSH: **I’m going to get David a t-shirt that says “Dolt”. [Laughter]**MANDY: The Rogues had fun discovering their Git horoscopes. DAVID: **David is an exceptional Rubyist who loves pushing code. David is a Tuesday tinkerer who seems to work best in the mid-afternoon. It seems from the activity streams that David and Kevin Sjoberg are probably friends or at least virtual friends. With this in mind, it is worth noting that Kevin Sjoberg spends more of their time creating new repositories and branches. There’s also an obvious connection between David and Nia and serialx. This is freaking awesome! [Chuckles]**DAVID: Git told me I’m an exceptional Rubyist. JAMES: It told me I’m a note-worthy Rubyist. Is that less than exceptional? JOSH: **Is this supposed to be [inaudible]?**CHUCK: I’m trend-setting. I’m forward-thinking and stuff. KATRINA: No. AVDI: **I’m scared. [Laughter]**CHUCK: I’m scared of the world. JOSH: **Oh, that’s [inaudible]. Okay.**AVDI: I’m such a sporadic contributor to anything. JAMES: **I know, I never [inaudible].**JOSH: I’m a trendsetting JavaScripter. AVDI: Really? JAMES: Wow, what? JOSH: **Josh is a trendsetting JavaScripter who loves pushing code. Josh is a Tuesday tinkerer who seems to work best in the mid-afternoon. Josh and Xavier Shay are probably friends or at least virtual friends. Xavier Shay is more [inaudible]. [Chuckles]**AVDI: Avdi is a champion Rubyist. One of the top… JOSH: **This is just because the only thing I did recently was update Xavier Shay’s [inaudible].**JAMES: Right. KATRINA: **I’m [an early-birder].**JOSH: **I’m a serious JavaScript expert. This is just so dumb. [Chuckles]CHUCK: I’m a 9-to-5-er who seems to work best in the mid-afternoon. AVDI: I apparently love pushing code. KATRINA: So do I. CHUCK: So do I. KATRINA: Everybody loves pushing code. AVDI: I am a hump-day hero. KATRINA: What? CHUCK: Wednesday? AVDI: Who seems to work best, that makes no sense at all because Wednesdays always wind up so packed because it’s recording day. JAMES: It said I work best in the mornings, which is not true. I get better and better as the day goes along. JOSH: Whose morning is the question. KATRINA: Yeah, I commit the most code in the mornings and in the early week because as soon as the students are in the room… JAMES: [inaudible] yeah.**KATRINA: I get distracted. AVDI: **Seems to work best in the mid-afternoon. I don’t know, dude. I sleep best in the mid-afternoon. [Laughter]**MANDY: And of course, no Ruby Rogues retreat would be complete without some toilet humor. CHUCK: **Why is it that you said ‘drops the big one’ and I thought of sharing a hotel room with Dave? [Laughter]**MANDY: I don’t know what Chuck was worried about since I’m the one that shared the bathroom with David Brady. DAVID: I believe the name of that sauce was Exit Wound. MANDY: But when David Brady did get a little out of control, we just would put him back in his room. JOSH: **David said, “The other Rogues gave me the best bedroom. It’s the only one that locks from the outside. Guys, if you can read this, I can hear you having breakfast. Getting hungry. Guys? Guys?” [Laughter]**MANDY: And when I said David Brady almost died, I meant David Brady almost died. Someone suggested they take a walk after lunch and Avdi, Chuck, Josh, James, and David did, even after numerous warnings and advice. DAVID: Guys, ten minutes into this walk, if I’m not feeling well, I will ditch your butts and come back. DANA: You’re not going to be feeling well ten minutes into this walk. It’s a hundred degrees outside. JOSH: We’re not going to walk very far. MANDY: Heat index. Hello. JAMES: Let me give you a hint. Take some water. MANDY: Sure enough, as soon as they got home, David concluded… DAVID: Yeah, your wife was right. MANDY: So after an exhausting four days, especially for David, the group sat down for the night and Avdi read a bedtime story. DAVID: To-do list tomorrow. Invent time machine. JAMES: Invent time machine, yeah. JOSH: **It’s amazing how terrible and bad [inaudible].**KATRINA: **I saw a talk by this guy, Polish guy, Piotr, he’s really cool, @Chastell on Twitter. I cannot remember. It was about separating persistence and domain logic. But at some point, he had this quote up on his slides and I don’t remember why. But it said, “What do we want? A time machine. When do we want it? It doesn’t matter.” [Laughter]**JOSH: **I’ve seen it also done as “When do we want it? You clearly aren’t clear on the concept.” [Laughter]**KATRINA: Nice. AVDI: **I have a board game at home called ‘U.S. Patent No. 1’ which is about constructing a time machine and then doing the obvious thing and going and getting U.S. Patent No. 1. [Laughter]**AVDI: Obviously. JOSH: So, my favorite logical argument that disproves time travel is possible is that even if time travel is possible, every time you travel in time and it changes the timeline, it destabilizes things until somebody finally goes back and kills the person before they invent time travel. JAMES: Nice, nice. JOSH: And then removes time travel from the timeline. JAMES: And then it fixes it. That is awesome. JOSH: Yeah. So, it’s like there’s no time travel. CHUCK: There’s a really bad movie in there somewhere. JAMES: **Yes. [Laughter]**AVDI: Did you ever see the Wikipedia spoof about time travel? DAVID: No. JOSH: I don’t think so. Is it up on Wikipedia? DAVID: There is a great Cyanide & Happiness about a theory of time travel. And this guy pops out of a portal and he’s got a Hitler mustache. JOSH: Oh, I remember that one. DAVID: **And he says, “Good news everybody. I’ve killed Histor.” [Laughter]JAMES: What? DAVID: “Well, I killed Histor, the disco drag queen,” or whatever it was. “I made humanity safe.” “Do you know what you’ve done? And shave off that mustache.” [Laughter]**DAVID: **I think, what is it, XKCD, he walks into his buddy’s apartment and he’s like, he looks at his pants and he’s like, “Hey, 2001 just called…” and he’s like, “Did you tell them about 9/11? What about Katrina? You f**r.” [Laughter]**DAVID: “You selfish bastard.” JAMES: That’s awesome. That is awesome. I love it. JOSH: **Yeah. One of the best arcs in a role-playing game we played was about time travel to Victorian London where we had to prevent Sherlock Holmes from catching Jack the Ripper because if he had done that, that would have allowed the Nazis to take over the world. [Laughter]**JOSH: This is why I hate time travel. Time travel stories are terrible. JAMES: Yup. DAVID: Have you read Niven’s time travel? JOSH: Oh yeah, ‘Flight of the Horse’? DAVID: Yes. JOSH: Yeah. DAVID: Yes. JOSH: Yeah, I liked his hat on it. It’s not actually time travel. DAVID: **It’s not science fiction. It’s fantasy. And by god, if you want a time travel story, I’m writing a fantasy novel! [Laughter]**AVDI: So, this is called Wikihistory. It’s an International Association of Time Travelers: Members’ Forum, Subforum: Europe – Twentieth Century – Second World War. DAVID: Oh, I read this. AVDI: **At 14:52:28, FreedomFighter69 wrote: Reporting my first temporal excursion since joining IATT: have just returned from 1936 Berlin, having taken the place of one of Leni Riefenstahl’s cameramen and assassinated Adolf Hitler during the opening of the Olympic Games. Let a free world rejoice! [Laughter]**AVDI: **At 14:57:44, SilverFox316 wrote: Back from 1936 Berlin; incapacitated FreedomFighter69 before he could pull his little stunt. Freedomfighter69, as you are a new member, please read IATT Bulletin 1147 regarding the killing of Hitler before your next excursion. Failure to do so may result in your expulsion per Bylaw 223. [Laughter]**AVDI: **At 18:06:59, BigChill wrote: Take it easy on the kid, SilverFox316; everybody kills Hitler on their first trip. I did. [Laughter]**AVDI: **It always gets fixed within a few minutes, what’s the harm? [Laughter]**AVDI: **At 18:33:10, SilverFox316 wrote: Easy for you to say, BigChill, since to my recollection you’ve never volunteered to go back and fix it. You think I’ve got nothing better to do? [Laughter]**AVDI: **11/16/2104. At 10:15:44, JudgeDoom wrote: Good news! I just left a French battlefield in October 1916, where I shot dead a young Bavarian Army messenger named Adolf Hitler! Not bad for my first time, no? Sic semper tyrannis! At 10:22:53, SilverFox316 wrote: Back from 1916 France I come, having at the last possible second prevented Hitler’s early demise at the hands of JudgeDoom and incredibly, restrained myself from shooting JudgeDoom and sparing us all years of correcting his misguided antics. READ BULLETIN 1147, PEOPLE! [Laughter]**AVDI: **At 15:41:18, BarracksRoomLawyer wrote: Point of order: issues related to Hitler’s service in the Bavarian Army ought to go in the World War I forum. [Laughter]**JAMES: **This is epic [inaudible].**JOSH: Okay, this is a pick. JAMES: Yes. AVDI: **11/21/2104. At 02:21:30, SneakyPete wrote: Vienna, 1907: after numerous attempts, have infiltrated the Academy of Fine Arts and facilitated Adolf Hitler’s admission to that institution. Goodbye, Hitler the dictator; hello, Hitler the modestly successful landscape artist! Brought back a few of his paintings as well, any buyers? At 02:29:17, SilverFox316 wrote: All right; that’s it. Having just returned from 1907 Vienna where I secured the expulsion of Hitler from the Academy by means of an elaborate prank involving the Prefect, a goat, and a substantial quantity of olive oil, [Laughter]**AVDI: **I now turn my attention to our newer brethren, who, despite rules to the contrary, seem to have no intention of reading Bulletin 1147 (nor its Addendum, Alternate Means of Subverting the Hitlerian Destiny, and here I’m looking at you, SneakyPete). Permit me to sum it up and save you the trouble: no Hitler means no Third Reich, no World War II, no rocketry programs, no electronics, no computers, no time travel. Get the picture? [Laughter]**AVDI: **At 02:29:49, SilverFox316 wrote: PS to SneakyPete: your Hitler paintings aren’t worth anything, schmuck, since you probably brought them directly here from 1907, which means the paint’s still fresh. Freaking noob. [Laughter]**AVDI: **At 07:55:03, BarracksRoomLawyer wrote: Amen, SilverFox316. Although, point of order, issues relating to early 1900s, Vienna should really go in that forum, not here. This has been a recurring problem on this forum. [Laughter]**MANDY: This sounds like Parley! JAMES: **This is, I was… [Laughter]**CHUCK: **Sounds like parley! [Laughter]**AVDI: So, this is 11/26/2104. At 18:26:18, Jason440953 wrote: SilverFox316, you seem to know a lot about the rules; what are your thoughts on traveling to, say, Braunau, Austria in 1875 and killing Alois Hitler – Alois? How do you pronounce that? KATRINA: Alois? AVDI: Alois? A-L-O-I-S. JOSH: Alois? AVDI: Alois. JOSH: If it’s French. AVDI: **Before he has a chance to father Adolf? Mind you, I’m asking out of curiosity alone, since I already went and did it. [Laughter]**AVDI: **At 18:42:55, SilverFox316 wrote: Jason440953, see Bylaw 7, which states that all IATT rulings regarding historical persons apply to ancestors as well. I post this for the benefit of others, as I already made this clear to young Jason in person as I was dragging him back from 1875 by his hair. Got that? No ancestors. (Though if anyone were to go back to, say, Moline, Illinois, in, say, 2080 or so, and intercede to prevent Jason440953’s conception, I could be persuaded to look the other way.) [Laughter]**AVDI: **At 21:19:17, BarracksRoomLawyer wrote: Point of order: discussions of nineteenth–century Austria and twenty–first–century Illinois should be confined to their respective forums. [Laughter]**AVDI: **12/01/2104. At 15:56:41, AsianAvenger wrote: FreedomFighter69, JudgeDoom, SneakyPete, Jason440953, you’re nothing but a pack of racists. Let the light of righteousness shine upon your squalid little viper’s nest! At 16:40:17, BigTom44 wrote: Well, here we frickin’ go. At 16:58:42, FreedomFighter69 wrote: Racist? For killing Hitler? WTF? At 17:12:52, SaucyAussie wrote: AsianAvenger, you’re not rehashing that whole Nagasaki issue again, are you? We just got everyone calmed down from last time. At 17:22:37, LadyJustice wrote: I’m with SaucyAussie. AsianAvenger, you’re making even less sense than usual. What gives? At 18:56:09, AsianAvenger wrote: What gives is everyone’s repeated insistence on a course of action which, even if successful, would only save a few million Europeans. It would be no more trouble to travel to Fuyuanshui, China, in 1814 and kill Hong Xiuquan, thus preventing the Taiping Rebellion of the mid–nineteenth century and saving fifty million lives in the process. But, hey, what are fifty million yellow devils more or less, right, guys? We’ve got Poles and Frenchmen to worry about. At 19:01:38, LadyJustice wrote: Well, what’s stopping you from killing him, AsianAvenger? At 19:11:43, AsianAvenger wrote: Only to have SilverFox316 undo my work? What’s the point? SilverFox316: Actually, it seems like a pretty good idea to me, AsianAvenger. [Laughter]**AVDI: **No complications that I can see. Big Chill: Go for it, man. [Laughter]**AVDI: **AsianAvenger: Very well. I shall return in mere moments, the savior of millions! LadyJustice: Just checked the timeline; congrats on your success, AsianAvenger! LadyJustice: AsianAvenger? [Chuckles]**AVDI: **SilverFox316: AsianAvenger, we need your report, buddy. [Laughter]**AVDI: **SilverFox316 again: Okay, apparently AsianAvenger was descended from Hong Xiuquan. [Laughter]**AVDI: **Any volunteers to go back and stop him from negating his own existence? [Laughter]**AVDI: SilverFox316: Anyone? DAVID: **Anyone? [Laughter]**AVDI: At 09:47:13, BarracksRoomLawyer wrote: Point of order: this discussion belongs in the Qing Dynasty forum. We’re adults; can we keep sight of what’s important around here? JAMES: **That is great. [Laughter]**CHUCK: That is so funny. JAMES: That is so awesome. MANDY: ** And if you’ve made it this far, I want to say that as the Rogues’ assistant, I am grateful for each and every one of them. If you’ve never met these people, put that at the top of your to-do list right now. It was an unforgettable experience and I hope that someday, I get to be in the same room with all of them again. This past year, Chuck has entrusted me with his podcast empire and I couldn’t be happier with my job if I tried. Every day I get emails from listeners and Parlay members that need taking care of. And let me just say this: It’s my pleasure. Thank you for accepting me into the community and allowing me to feel the love that I do from all of you. Some of you may know that I’m in the process of expanding my business. I want to start an agency that pairs developers with trusted assistants that provide the same quality and service that I am proud to say that I do. You can visit DevReps.com to find out more and sign up for news and updates on the launch. Also follow us on Twitter, @DevReps. We’re on Facebook too. If you wish to help or sponsor my venture, please feel free to reach out or contribute to my Gittip account. I’ll put all the info in the show notes. Also, look for a Kickstarter or Indiegogo campaign in the near future. Again, I just want to say thank you to everyone and say with complete and utter passion, I love you all. This has been the Mandy Moore Ruby Rogues Takeover. Happy holidays and stay awesome!